What I Told Wikipedians on the Subject of Rovaniemi’s So-Called Population

:Maybe they don’t consider the other 25,000 (vacationing Poles in midsummer) to be foreigners. Besides, there are those real foreigners, we Americans, constantly taking away their nice, sweet Finnish girls for our wicked matrimonial arrangements with glee, so you simply must use subtraction, you see. You can’t expect everything to add up; you have to account for the absenteeism somehow. I just want to know whether Rovaniemi’s north or south of that circle when it’s pitch dark a few days before Christmas arrives, and whether anybody’s still hanging around then. (Kidding, of course.) Finns come in droves to sunny south Minnesota for Christmas (eschewing Miami, FL) wouldn’t you? (Miami snow is only in patches, and then you still have to wait in line for your turn, and pay to get in, it’s so precious. Bring your parka; we don’t sell them anywhere down here.) And just think of all those terrible, bulky polar bears, home for the holidays, all true Finns, of course, but crowding everybody else out, taking all the crushed ice for themselves, and hogging up whole couches, while contributing nothing at all to the population. There’s no accounting for such a phenomenon, swigging down juniper vodka, both sweet and sour, with mint. (And when they depart, sulking and staggering, soon after the festivities, they hardly ever pick up their own trash! Imagine! They must even leave, sometimes at least, without paying. I bet they hang out in the forests in their birthday suits, without even leaving the city limits!) Here at Wikipedia, we must always distort the facts a bit, all kidding aside, for the sake of logic. Anyone can. We focus in on (and account somehow for) what doesn’t add up. (Still kidding, of course.) Who, I ask you, needs documentation for that?! This is all quite disturbing to me. ~~~~


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