Lying for Dollars

Anyone who thinks I’m a liar should sue me, not I them. What am I going to sue for, calling me a liar? No, you sue me first, I need the cash for my laundry.

Don’t you see, suing you, I’d have to pay lawyers, and what could I get? A dollar bill?

No, it’s much better for us both if you sue me, believe me. We can work something out profitable to us both, and the lawyers? Forget that, you can always owe them.

Now, you take my word for it. We’ll have a great time together at Duke’s, a wonderful restaurant, my very favorite.

Ring me up and I’ll see if I can get Calvin, the chauffeur, to pick you up in the Redskins’ Cadillac limousine, how’s that?, so we both can enjoy the ride I take you for.

What more could you ask of me? You know I’d give you the shirt off my back, my friend. Anything goes for you, good buddy. Want a blazer? The team can always lose one. Take it, if you like burgundy, it’s a terrific color.

I’m crazy about guys that call me a liar!  I love you all, like my very own brothers.

Signed (in the mood of)

George Preston Marshall (Owner)


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